What's Left Unsaid

*****

"...Love you," he muttered, and I thought it was redundant. How many times has he said this today?

I know, all I wanted to say was that. But I hesitated. I pretty much knew that he'll sort of demand for an answer, and if I joke, it would kinda hurt him. To simply put it to an end, I murmured softly:

"Love you too..."

*****

When I read Destiny at Work, I cannot forget the scene where Kaho and Touya talked about their lovers Eriol and Tomoyo-- and what Kaho's realization about her relationship with Eriol had become after three years:

She gasped quietly, her eyes fluttering closed in pain as the tears escaped. “Why can’t I remember the last time he said ‘I love you’ first?”

How come I don’t remember? Came the nagging thought in Touya’s head. His jaw clenched. Sure, Tomoyo said those three words many of times. On many occasions she said those eight letters before he did… Right?

These words from Kaho struck me. Yeah, it got me questioning myself as well. But in the manner that how many times I said it. The truth is, I'm not that honest about my feelings. I usually have this deadpan face or some sort of a wide and obviously stupid grin on my face whenever passion appears before me. Or someone I am with. I tend to take everything as a joke, for I believe that it is temporary as well. It all shall pass. Everything's just a phase.

Believe me, someone advised me to say the L word first, even just for once.

But it still remained as one of the words left unsaid. Which of course, added to the turbulent confusion within everyone I hold close.

Aw. This is so much disturbing.

I feel the same way too. Just read between the lines.