Yesterday, I was online at 5 PM already for my 7 PM class at RareJob, my part-time job for a year now. I was glad that all my slots were occupied from 7-11 PM. My students have reserved a lesson since the night before and also early that morning. After some time, I had my husband fix the antivirus program of my netbook, this pink Sony VAIO my mom bought me a few months ago. The PC needs restarting, so I told him to quickly do it so that I will be online for the 7 PM class right away. I thought he’d open the Skype (this program is the one I’m using for work) after he has restarted my netbook. But he didn’t do that, so I was busy with our son for about an hour playing with him. I didn’t notice the time passed by and I wasn’t online. 6:30 PM came and my mom called us for dinner. I usually eat at a duration of 20 minutes. So 6:50 came. I went to my PC and checked my schedule on the company’s website. After that, I came looking for Skype—then I realized I wasn’t online nor the program was opened. I became so nervous.
When Skype had finished loading, it was 6:52. RareJob staff from Tokyo and Manila have been trying to contact me a few minutes ago. I decided to check my schedule and found out I had a 204 cancellation. My class for 7PM was already transferred to another tutor. I messaged the Scheduling Team and RareJob Japan at 6:53, and they both told me it’s too late to be reopened and it was transferred already. I should be online 10 minutes before. I was devastated and I started to cry. I blamed my husband right away for not clicking Skype as soon as my PC started. I changed the options then to “Start Skype when Windows starts” option (I don’t know the exact words), and then I continued crying over it. My disappointment continued especially when I realized I was penalized for 208 for the rest of the week (plus one day because they did not realize the “one week starting from today”, I don’t know how mad they were at me to do that). I was furious I drove him out of the room the whole night. So the 6 classes continued from 7:30-11. I still could not get over the large-scale cancellation.
When I talked about this thing I had to a student who was also married, he told me to forgive my husband and let it go; that this is just a part of married life I could not escape. I knew he made sense, but when I remember my other student’s comment about this—that it was really infuriating—I had second thoughts again. After my 11 PM class, I went out of the room and I saw my husband walking along the dining hall. He said sorry again for what happened. Somehow, I know I could forgive him about that manner, even though obviously I haven’t gotten over it. I simply replied okay and told him about the penalty of 1 week cancellation. His face looks devastated as well as mine, but I turned away and walked out to the kitchen and passed by him without a word.
I could just have asked him to return to our bed and spend the night there as usual when we’re okay, but I had not told him that. I continued acting childishly and so he had to sleep in the broken couch at the living room. Actually, I cannot sleep also because I was thinking of how sore our bodies were from the work-out that morning and he might be having lots of troubles sleeping there too. But my so-called anger that night didn’t make me feel sorry after all. The next day, I was still able to talk to him (a bit) and then I could see that he’s still repenting on it. As always, I would not talk about it and I would be mad for other unrelated things. Yes, that was what happened. He left home for school without me saying a word. Maybe when he comes back later in the evening, I’d tell him exactly what made me so furious. I just wanted to blame someone for a mistake I had done unintentionally. 
I’m sorry, Hani. I know you won’t be able to read this (the main reason I wrote it here).
