IYF World Camp 2011: We're Bound to Korea!

Last month, me and my husband attended our first orientation for IYF's 2011 World Camp with Leadership Training to be held at South Korea on June. I've been looking forward to joining this as soon as I saw the poster coming to the SC office at NCPAG. That was last year, when me and my classmate Nheo was staying late at the SC office. A student probably from the MA PA gave us a poster, telling us to post it in the bulletin board. At first glance, I thought I couldn't be able to participate, knowing my mother wouldn't let me and yeah it will be held in the beginning of the next semester. So my hopes faded for a while.

Not until IYF Philippines volunteers arrived at NCPAG to promote the World Camp personally. They created a booth at the atrium where I usually play PC games or surf the net during my 4-hour break. I then remembered that it was the same poster we saw a few months ago. The volunteers, composed of 2 people were dining in front of me. So when I had the chance, I asked them about the IYF World Camp. They gladly answered my questions and gave me more information about it. When lunch was over, I was able to talk more to one of the volunteers nicknamed Wilson. Our discussion was great, and he encouraged me to join the World Camp. So that night, I told my mom about it and she was as expected, hesitant.

The World Camp in South Korea is a good addition to my resume in the future. As told by my mother-in-law, trainings and seminars add up to the experience some companies are looking for. After I internalized what she had told me, I had decided I wanted to join this once in a lifetime experience. I told my husband about IYF World Camp but then he wasn't sure his parents would let him come. He wanted me to tell his parents about this and so that's what I did. We were glad his parents were so into it that they even volunteered giving us pocket money, travel insurance and plane tickets. Everything went so far so good, not until we realized it was difficult to apply for the visa.

My mother had undergone lots of troubles for me to get approved. She even sold some of our stocks in Meralco so that I would have a large sum in my show money. She had to deal with BIR for a certification, and bank certificate and finally she also gave me a copy of our land title. Good thing it was under my name. The final trouble was I am married and it shows in my permanent government records (BIR, Driver's License, Passport) but my school records show that I'm Ms. Blanco and that would be a greater conflict in some way according to IYF. But I was ready with other supporting documents like our NSO Copy of Marriage Contract so in the end, I got the visa I wanted.

Upon getting the visa, we secured our tickets from Korean Air. Our flight was scheduled on June 27 and our return to Philippines is on July 16. It would be the longest I would be in a foreign country and my third trip abroad. I hope my stay in South Korea would be as good and as fun as Hong Kong and Macau experience. I'm sure I would learn lots of things about Korean culture and hopefully the language :)

Again, thank you to my major sponsors: my mom and my parents-in-law: for all the help and support for me to achieve my dream to visit South Korea. 

Browhaus Experience Review

Yesterday, before attending a wedding, I went to Browhaus Serendra to get my eyebrows cleaned and shaped. I heard they do sorts of unique things with the eyebrow design and so on, but it was obviously overrated. There was no blueprint of eyebrows and all those stuff as said in this blog http://www.100percentkelly.com/2009/07/10/my-browhaus-experience/. So there, I entered, filled up the form and then later sat on the chair and was threaded. They said Browhaus won't hurt you as much, but it was not true. I still cried in this experience, almost the same pain I felt in LayBare's service. There's also plucking and shaving involved so those other process added to the hurt. I'm not an aesthetic critic so I couldn't tell whether the brows I now have are in fact, better. Probably I would post a picture of my brows as a follow-up. 580 Php is quite a high price too (LayBare price is 100), but Browhaus threading seats are good compared to LayBare's beds (you sit in there while being threaded, no back support). I would probably go back next month for maintenance.

I’m Sorry.

Yesterday, I was online at 5 PM already for my 7 PM class at RareJob, my part-time job for a year now. I was glad that all my slots were occupied from 7-11 PM. My students have reserved a lesson since the night before and also early that morning. After some time, I had my husband fix the antivirus program of my netbook, this pink Sony VAIO my mom bought me a few months ago. The PC needs restarting, so I told him to quickly do it so that I will be online for the 7 PM class right away. I thought he’d open the Skype (this program is the one I’m using for work) after he has restarted my netbook. But he didn’t do that, so I was busy with our son for about an hour playing with him. I didn’t notice the time passed by and I wasn’t online. 6:30 PM came and my mom called us for dinner. I usually eat at a duration of 20 minutes. So 6:50 came. I went to my PC and checked my schedule on the company’s website. After that, I came looking for Skype—then I realized I wasn’t online nor the program was opened. I became so nervous.

When Skype had finished loading, it was 6:52. RareJob staff from Tokyo and Manila have been trying to contact me a few minutes ago. I decided to check my schedule and found out I had a 204 cancellation. My class for 7PM was already transferred to another tutor. I messaged the Scheduling Team and RareJob Japan at 6:53, and they both told me it’s too late to be reopened and it was transferred already. I should be online 10 minutes before. I was devastated and I started to cry. I blamed my husband right away for not clicking Skype as soon as my PC started. I changed the options then to “Start Skype when Windows starts” option (I don’t know the exact words), and then I continued crying over it. My disappointment continued especially when I realized I was penalized for 208 for the rest of the week (plus one day because they did not realize the “one week starting from today”, I don’t know how mad they were at me to do that). I was furious I drove him out of the room the whole night. So the 6 classes continued from 7:30-11. I still could not get over the large-scale cancellation.

When I talked about this thing I had to a student who was also married, he told me to forgive my husband and let it go; that this is just a part of married life I could not escape. I knew he made sense, but when I remember my other student’s comment about this—that it was really infuriating—I had second thoughts again. After my 11 PM class, I went out of the room and I saw my husband walking along the dining hall. He said sorry again for what happened. Somehow, I know I could forgive him about that manner, even though obviously I haven’t gotten over it. I simply replied okay and told him about the penalty of 1 week cancellation. His face looks devastated as well as mine, but I turned away and walked out to the kitchen and passed by him without a word.

I could just have asked him to return to our bed and spend the night there as usual when we’re okay, but I had not told him that. I continued acting childishly and so he had to sleep in the broken couch at the living room. Actually, I cannot sleep also because I was thinking of how sore our bodies were from the work-out that morning and he might be having lots of troubles sleeping there too. But my so-called anger that night didn’t make me feel sorry after all. The next day, I was still able to talk to him (a bit) and then I could see that he’s still repenting on it. As always, I would not talk about it and I would be mad for other unrelated things. Yes, that was what happened. He left home for school without me saying a word. Maybe when he comes back later in the evening, I’d tell him exactly what made me so furious. I just wanted to blame someone for a mistake I had done unintentionally.

 

I’m sorry, Hani. I know you won’t be able to read this (the main reason I wrote it here).

I’m Getting Hitched. For Real.

It was just like yesterday when I thought of ending my 4-year long relationship with my first boyfriend. It was chaotic. Maybe I was some sort of a confused individual that time, or something like that, and he was a depressed person who needed attention. I just felt like quitting of course with a lot of things alongside it, and he just felt like ending his life because of the so-called breakup, if it was true back then. Whichever the reason was, I couldn’t actually point my finger on it. That event was filled with drama, foolishness, and bitterness; I had to think rationally and dump some logic behind. That, however, might have been the main cause why things turned this way.

And now, almost 8 months later, we’re about to get married and have a baby. My life did a fast-forward on that and made a pause on my academic life, and probably a stop on my social life. Was I too reckless it ended up like this? I can’t help but look back at what I have been doing: which part did this mess originated from? Was it  during high school when I got involved with him or the time I decided to leave PCA and move to another school where I had met him? Or maybe it was the time when I’ve let my guard off and had things done his way? I can’t tell exactly. It’s just either it was originally from my past actions that sequentially led me to this or it’s because of my lack of common sense as the years pass by.

I still feel bad about everything that I really like blaming him for all of these (which is obviously wrong since I took part doing the sin somehow). The thing is, I won’t be able to do what a normal 20-year old girl would from this point on—party, hang-out with friends till dawn, attend multiple sleepovers, boy hunting with girl friends, and so on. Plus, I didn’t get the chance to have another 2 or more boyfriends. I was stuck with one from the beginning, and I wouldn’t know what it feels like to have a break-up for real (I believe what we had was fake). I won’t get the chance to mingle with singles and enjoy what my friends are enjoying right now.

Most of all, I had ruined my college education. I’d be delayed for another year, which is quite a long time before I graduate from the university.

I know it’s too late for me to regret everything since I have already made a decision about this thing called marriage. It didn’t take me a long time to think about it—did I have a choice that time? Probably yes, I could have just pondered on it many, countless times and decide on it according to what suits me best. I didn’t have that thinking though, because I was pressured and all by everyone in my family. It’s yet another case of an early marriage in our clan, and the solution is to get married. Good thing I didn’t have to prod and push him to marry me. Besides, it was him who had thought of that idea even before I got pregnant. The difference is that he had planned it after my 21st birthday.

I wonder if I’m actually doing the right thing. A couple of my friends had asked me if I was ready and sure about this. I didn’t have much reason to hesitate. I don’t really know which path I’m going at the first place, with or without this incident. So maybe this is the right thing to do. But still, I’m pessimistic about it, as usual. It’s clearly not a fairytale ending for me.

March!

I’m not really excited for March. It’s just that another month has passed and I’m getting near my due date. I would want this torturous pregnancy. Okay, let’s make it lighter. It’s not that torturous, maybe 75%. I’ve been totally stressed in the first to second trimester, but luckily I had not experienced the so-called morning sickness and all that pregnancy symptoms. I’m one of the few lucky women. It’s just that I could not adjust to my new weight that I am experiencing difficulties in WALKING. Oh yes, walking. Sometimes, I would thought that I would be paralyzed before I could give birth. It’s very agonizing. Each step kills me. I wonder if it is some twisted ligament or veins that caused the pain. I would just wonder, I don’t know who to ask for answers.

Come to think of it, this is the first time I’ve talked about my pregnancy in my blog directly. I guess the big bump must’ve gotten obvious to my senses. And of course add the actual thing in my tummy that moves and disturbs me even when I’m asleep. Add the fact that I’m bugged by people around me about it. I don’t know if I’m really happy and excited about this whole thing, maybe half or so, but this change in my life definitely hasn’t been grasped by my brain yet. I’m still wishfully thinking that this is just all a nightmare. Anyway, before it actually happened, I’m quite aware that the occurrence of this is of a high possibility, that is why I wasn’t surprised or anything, even my parents. Good thing I told them about my frivolous actions beforehand. That lessened the damage and anger, I think.

I guess I’ll just be positive about this because my face can’t bear the breakouts any longer. I’m sure the stress from the past 6 months caused the super duper breakout of acne. Dang, I have to cope with acne scars and some acne building up again. Besides, my eye bags have grown compared when I was at school. I may conclude that unwanted pregnancy can cause thrice the stress than studying in full load at college everyday. It has been proven in my case. Another thing this caused me is my self-confidence to drop at near zero. Also, my insecurity level had gone to the highest level possible. I don’t know if it’s just the hormones raging right now, but yeah it did a lot of negativity in my normal and abnormal way of living. If I’d undergo this again, I don’t know what else I would experience that is detrimental for me.

Today is not January 23. I know.

Surprisingly, there was no January 2010 blog post on this longest running blog that I have. I found it quite inappropriate because I wanted to have all the months shown on the archive. So even though today’s the 23rd of February, thanks to Windows Live Writer, I was able to set the date for this post—thus the title.

Anyway, I’m already moving to Blogger. I already created this account before and now I think I will update it side by side with WordPress and FS (I was thinking if it would be redundant). My Multiply blog will contain separate posts as it has always been the more honest blog I ever created posts on. BlogSync helped me with the Blogger move. It’s such an easy app to use. :)

Since I forgot what I wanted to say, and I’m merely spending time while waiting for a student to come online, I’ll end tonight’s post right now (maybe later I would have something to talk about).

Hatred. A Must-Read For Someone.

Nothing pushed me to write on my blog the last month since I was pretty fine back then. But now, I had more reasons to write up rants that’s why this post evolved. I was to sleep with the normal 10 PM by bed routine for the past week, but the devil knows I really wanted to spill all my hatred for someone right now. I have been talking about this with my closest guyfriends, but I’d rather not tell them anything right now because they might be thinking of other bothersome things as of this moment that I might ruin their current modes. Oh well, never had I felt this much anger for myself than now. I really thought that things could go smoothly, not until now.

I didn’t intend to do this blog post again to be read by anyone since I write with my whim. Oh yeah. That’s what a blog really is. Screw the grammar this time. So let me tell the story on why I exactly hate someone from the very beginning.

Back in senior year of high school I thought things were pretty normal with all the couple-y stuff I’ve been involved in. Not until perverse things began and got me thinking when should be the right age to discuss rather disgusting things with a member of the opposite gender. Yeah, since it was inevitable those stuffs began from the simplest to the quite disturbing for that period. It didn’t end so good for that person since I got wily then mad before, during and after graduation. I didn’t quite get the transition to college first and so on. But that period passed, since the good quite showed from him although I still blame him for what had happened to me. Anyway, college came in a blast with me still clueless on stuff then we began being totally in to some things as lightly as first then comes 2007 and there goes specific events before it (duh the order) and then I found myself agreeing to it. Oh right. I usually do something first before blah blah blah. Yeah, he was persistent, and I knew he really was. He told me so.

And so the vicious cycle continued, with me realizing the intent for this and that was growing with regards to this person. I tried avoiding it in all costs, but who am I to completely guard myself? I’m no saint nor a control freak of my own undertakings; I’m not obedient either. I just got sucked into a warp and never got out of it. What’s worse is that as the year passed, several things happened. I had them documented chronologically. The dates were as follows:

sometime in March 2008,

April 14, 2008,

June 3, 2008

December 19, 2008

January 2-3, 2009

January 9, 2009

January 17, 2009

January 26, 2009

January 30-31, 2009 and many many countless dates more.

And lo, when February 6, 2009 came, his plans of getting me into this almost everywhere to be seen red building come true. I bet it was one of the happiest days in his pathetic life. Then it was followed by February 9, 2009—up to the very present. We’d tried all other places and planned on all other things. Yea, I got caught by these bewildered words he say. Oh you know the common story of women, right? By the way I don’t know yet who must be blamed for all of these other than him. Well, he could say in defense that he was just being a guy oh for the love of the gods. That would be everyone’s reasoning. I think he really had the worst religious state ever, but that made me wonder what Catholic schools have been teaching to its students. The lewdness and the sleekness of this person must’ve reached the depths of I don’t know where. And what’s yet another bad part is that I was the usual cohort. Damn my pathetic human brain and mushy side. I know I shouldn’t have believed him too soon.

Lesson learned: none. Even though it seems that he got the worst torture from me as everybody thinks starting from last August, IT’S ALL WRONG. Females are still considered as the weaker ones, so be it. I would personally agree. I might have appeared to have the upper hand in this seemingly good relationship but really, no. I might have looked like hey I’m ok and I’m having a great time torturing, but the thing is, I was the one getting all the bad repercussions and all the worst setbacks I could ever think of. Soon, everyone will have to know on how we’d lived our life, and I’d be glad. He’s definitely not the princely whatsoever coming from the fairytale kind of guy. I was even wondering if he wasn’t as worst as the worst perverted men I know. Maybe the one who admits some things in that realm are the ones who hadn’t been doing much. But as of this Mr. I’m so innocent I look like an angel, he really had this devilish side hopefully he had unleashed with other girls (oh yes come feast with his body, I bet he’s doing all sorts of stuff to attract you more). Baah. I was even telling him sometimes as exact as I wrote here, but I believe not until he gets the REAL beating and not just the verbal jousts will he ever be disciplined.

As of now, I had no plans on doing anything but to continue the game I had started which by the way I’m about to lose. Even if he says this and that meekly and humbly like I will never do this and that, I will be this and that, I will do this and that, I will lessen this and that, look I’m doing this and that, hey now I’m more like this and that—aah right? Just keep on feeding me mushy and cheesy words and don’t forget to act as good as possible and in the end your fruits of performing will be paid by the gods of lust. I don't think this post will be getting anywhere without me addressing it to you properly, but I think I’ll have to tag you when this appears on Facebook. Oh, you’ll make a good actor. Keep on practicing. I really have no time to analyze whichever you say is right or wrong or true or false or any other question that is not open-ended because I’m so tired of them. Besides, I’ve been getting more objective exams in school so there.

But seriously, he was the best chum I’d ever had at the same time the worst. I couldn’t say anything more because he’s heard of these many times from before. After that, it’s as if he had this auto-response of the mushy stuff. It’s like a spam text message I keep on receiving every time I started reminding him on how he sucked big time. I know of his efforts, but those aren’t enough to cover the big messes up. I really don’t know how to get even this time. Man, I better think of something quick.

September!!

It’s funny when I just knew that something had occurred to me when seemingly I’m without my consciousness. Oh yeah, right now I think I might be succumbed to the F mania as I spend my sem-ender days idly. But wait, I’m having a lot of fun right now, so the F’s doesn’t matter to me anymore!

Aside from the downside yet happy “upside”, I’m currently pursuing stuffs like applying in an academic organization (CIRCA) and of course having extended my social life like there is no tomorrow. I’m also beginning to date the normal way (this is quite a complicated thing to state here) with the same guy back to the old ways.

Anyway, since I’m hyped by the new month and I’m hyped by the subsequent movie watching I’ve been doing the whole of August and start of September, I will just tell of the bad things I predicted (and also that is for me to be reminded of what I should be doing!).

Of course, there are 3 oral presentations to be accomplished, two for major subjects and the other for Psych. These will be presented in class, so it must be done effectively. The Psych report has no problems, although I’m REALLY bothered by the Ethics class report (bear with me because I have a group mate who is thrice as bum as I am). The Psych would be done first, on the 10th while the Ethics would be on the 22nd. The Land Use Planning report would be on the 23rd and this bothers me as well, because I haven’t been going to 191 class for about 5 consecutive meetings (uh-oh).

September is also field trip month, that is why I’m having 2 field trips on the same week. On the 7th, we’re going to the Ombudsman for Ethics class and on the 9th, we’re going to NAMRIA for Land Administration class.

September is the DANCING IN SEPTEMBER month (obviously!) so I’m thinking of watching it (if my PE is still working after missing out on 10+ UAAP games :|). Anyway, I don’t think it would work out, so I’ll skip this event and wait for my grade of 5 in PE and attend BELLYDANCING classes next semester (booyeah!)

Papers, on the other hand, had been haunting me for days. I have 2 papers for my 191 and another for 142, a Newsletter for Psych, and of course my SLO assessment paper. Oh, the drama. 191 is just the thing that’s hard to accomplish.

Home works are too many for me, but I haven’t been doing the Accounting ones. Oh right. I am to fail Accounting this year again. :P Yay for third take! Econ home works are group thingies, that is why I’m not worried (thanks to the younger group mate who does the maths and stats and for the diligent graduating group mate who takes care of the paperwork).

Let me not forget about the 4’s I’m about to clear: Stat 101—> the long forgotten 4 and expiring this sem, PA 113—> still has time for it, PA 121—> could be cleared any time of the year. And of course, the exams that are about to occur: Accounting and Econ :D

Lastly, my org application stuff: I would start memorizing the preamble of the CIRCA consti, raise money for the IGP, find my missing tambay card (pfft! But then they know I tambay an awful lot), and of course accomplish the sigsheet. Worry for the FR later :D

I never thought September would be the busiest. But I never thought of it that way. September is my FUN month :)

I Don't Know. [Originally Posted at Multiply]

Really now, I really feel that I'm being tricked and derided

[deride

Verb

[-riding, -rided] to speak of or treat with contempt or ridicule [Latin deridere to laugh to scorn]

derision n
Collins Essential English Dictionary
2nd Edition 2006 © HarperCollins Publishers 2004, 2006]

by someone. It's as if this whole crappy thing I was planning before backfired and led me to an emotional psychopathic torture played by this certain someone. It sucks, well for the fact that I wasn't that trained to counter emotional torture and of course, add the fact that I was aimlessly blamed by my yet another annoying housemate stating that basically everything that had occurred was my fault. To begin with, and honestly, I went through that lowly state before and look at me now: I'm back to what I used to be.

It seemed like right now, again, I was mainly the object of blame and of course, my usual scapegoat role in the societal group called Family emerged once more. I have always hated this normality but then again, I have no right to remain vocal about that matter. I just have to continuously adapt and burn my remaining ounces of patience with the burning fire of annoyance and or aggravation. It's always the ME part, and the ME part involves cynicism, skepticism, harsh critique, and you-are-the-worst remarks. I'm pretty much acquainted with that.

So then thinking of this would really matter to me. Besides, I need some sorts of reflections in order for me to apply the theories discussed at our Ethics and Accountability class and also at the Sikolohiyang Pilipino class. I don't care if I'm being too engrossed with Acads to infiltrate it in my daily activities, but that is my notion of Praxis in my life. Thanks to Dean Brillantes, I learned that concept and now I'm trying to apply it for my own use (in my own arguments).

Again, this event or rather those events got me confused. I really don't know.

I’m Still Alive!

Originally Posted at Multiply

I am still in the hype of my accident yesterday. Ooh that was the finest thing that ever occurred to me in my almost 20 years of existence. It was my first vehicular accident, all alone by myself. And I survived dramatically. Kidding. It didn't hurt that much anyway, and I still got the chance to be a cam whore while at the hospital. Believe me, it was one of the happiest moments in my life. :)
I was randomly walking (not really) to my next class (at 10 am) walking along Magsaysay St. near Ylanan Gym--and that's the fastest way to NCPAG. Suddenly, out of nowhere (not nowhere okay behind me) a motorcycle came rushing and beeping to the last minute. I didn't know the next events, but I realized I was down at the asphalt road, and the BLAG was my head. I got up instantly and looked around me. It all looked bleak and sepia-ish. Whatever. I saw a man and a woman hurrying to me and assisting me to the roadside, making me sit down and analyze what has happened. Oh yes, I had an accident. 

Anyway, that happened too fast. The next thing was I was at the UP Health Service (Infirmary) beside SC and I already had texted my mom and boyfriend about what happened to me. Ooh and they hurried up to rush to the ER to see me lying in one of the beds succumbed to nothing. :)) 

Upon arriving, my parents had arranged the whatsoevers with the UPD Police (thanks to them for the blotter report). They decided to bring me to The Medical City at Ortigas and together with my boyfriend, mom went to Prof Cuaresma to tell her that I can't come to class that day.

The ER people at TMC were so kind to assist me and bring me there immediately to have my X-ray and all. And so is my boyfriend who was with me the entire time. I didn't feel pain because he was there, duh. :))

I wanted to get myself some souvenirs for my first time at the hospital in an accident involving myself, so I asked the radiologist to take a picture of me while I was wearing the hospital gown and all. :D 

So there, I didn't look much of someone who had an accident that was grave or whatsoever. :) I was sorta hyped with what happened to me. I didn't get any trauma of Motorcycles but took this experience as a lesson for me: DO NOT BE STUPID WHILE AT ROADS OR PUBLIC PLACES!!
I end this blog post telling everyone my thanks for their concern and get-well-soon-wishes for me. :) I can now go to school tomorrow. The x-ray results say that nothing in my bones and skull were fractured and damaged. Just the muscular pain due to the impact of the epic fail. :))

Love Contract

Nonfiction, true. Yeah, this all occurred to me. I don’t care if you believe this or not, but I’m totally honest in all the contents this post. And I believe I need to let this out of my system one last time.

Taiwanese drama of the same title, I sorta had the same experience but not quite the enemies-turned-lovers thingy in romance dramas type. It is more of a willing entrapment (how ironic) between two people in order to stay good together. Is there such a thing like making this paperwork just for the sake of staying together? Actually, I may correct it and shrink it into a simpler word, it’s for complacency.

I may have appeared so ‘legal’ in everything that had occurred to me in the past: my mom returning ‘confiscated novels and drawings of anime’ in return for me being the class’ top one or topping a Periodical Test in the next quarter will have to have a written contact signed by me and her, me receiving a thousand pesos for every merit card during my PCC days would also involve a contract-signing between me and my mom (again), and also most verbal contracts between me and my dad would end up in paper. Just as I thought it would be for the security of everything we’ve agreed on, now I realized it’s nothing but a statement that tells me I’m such a desperate person.

In my relationship, I’ve had 2 contracts in the past. One was something like a TRO to him when I felt so mad and all. The contract states that he will stay away from me (or we’ll not see each other technically) for 25 days including the February 14th of that year (yeah I know it sucks for you guys to miss Valentine’s Day with your girlfriend). I thought that was the worst I could do to him, but then we kinda created another one which didn’t really have an impact before. It was more of another agreement that would make me calm down whenever I feel insecure or unfeeling towards something related to him. Yes, he’s experienced my highs and lows in my emotional stability, and I believe he should be lauded for his persistence.

However, this time, it was different. I may be in the best emotional slash mental condition right now and he demanded for a newer and more ‘legal’ sort of contract. I was taken aback. What the hell entered his mind that he proposed this to me? I ran along the memories of what we’ve been seriously dealing and talking. Oh, right. I think I might have said harsher and meaner things like ‘I don’t really believe you anymore’ and ‘I don’t believe you’ll be ever faithful to me’ and finally, ‘I don’t trust your love’. Ah, my tongue. I wish this was taken by a cat during those times. I’m always compulsive with the words I throw back and forth. I’m always the ‘not really thinking, jumping into conclusions and jumping into the unknown’ type of person. Something tells me that my gut feeling is always right, that I have no better options than jumping into this ‘new, unchartered territory’.

I wanted to refuse his written contract proposal, but then I thought of the times I demanded this from him. I didn’t know what to think of his sudden actions, I’m just surprised that he could go this far. Guilt trip again, friends. This nearly want me to erase my existence… but I cannot, of course. I decided just to say my quick and unwavering ‘okay’ to him, and asked him to draft this proposed contract. I thought of what would be the end of that deal for me, what I would get if I do agree, and what might be the consequences of this sudden thing we’re seriously agreeing on. Definitely, this is stranger than I thought. No one is sane enough to ask his 19-year old freakin’ stubborn girlfriend to marry him and all, right? I still doubted the sanity of this person up to this moment. Again, comes the why me part and all. I do not want to elaborate everything, but yeah, it is utterly stupid. I won’t call him all the pretty mean names I wanted to call him because of that. Because in reality, I might be the one who’s waaay stupider or foolish than him. That, we do not know yet.

As I stare blankly at the LCD monitor of Hazel-PC, I knew I needed to edit this thing into my liking. Yes, this is the perfect chance of dominating and getting the upper-hand. He’ll probably agree and not question anyway, since he told me he was doing this for himself as well. Why waste energy arguing with an argumentative person? I don’t know why, but he’s pretty good at arguing with me and making me stop. Even my mother cannot control my war freak tendencies. So is my dad. Anyway, I typed specific things at the 6th item and made it go up to half a page. After sending the revisions, he agreed with most of those things I added. A few talks, and I printed my copy. I didn’t sign yet even as I instructed him to do so in his own copy, because as a girl, I think I would change my mind the very minute or so. I didn’t.

Yesterday, around this time, we signed it. It was idiotic, yes, because it’s sort of binding yourself to a person into a ruse and with the use of obviously illegal documents you simply created to serve as your emotional outlet. Yep. I summarized the two-paged, 8 and a half by 11 inch paper document that contains the things we’re insecure of, and things we wish would happen and or intend to happen in the near future. The font size was 11, and the font was Verdana (my personal favorite). I didn’t care even if it’s stupidity that time. I guess, there’s really something I want to prove him all along. Maybe, that could be the love thing. I guess, I really do love this guy after all (say cheesy all you want, reader!).

 

Super Long Time No Post

Oh yes, I did it again. I failed to post in my precious blog (how cheesy!). Anyway, I just came from a 4-day vacation abroad. Yeah, I’ve been to the land of the chinitos: Hong Kong. And by far, I haven’t spotted any chinito cuter that someone. ;)

So the four days was all about merry-making and travel. Let me tell you about my summer class’s ending. It was so good that I got a 2 in my Pol Sc 14. Happy? Of course! Even with a three I’d be happy to have that.

And so after al those happy times, it’s time for the hard times: Academic year 2009-2010 1st semester enrollment. Everyone loathes this. CRS is down, you are not sure of your subjects, and you have to fall in line at the looooong queue. Oh, that’s not the worst part: it’s the part where you will be rejected in a subject you aim for.

Because of that, I have myself quipped for June 3. Ready or not, here I come!

Diamond Peeling Bonding

Today, the 15th of March, I experienced something new… in my face!

Just yesterday, my BFF asked me if I’m free today. So I answered yes, and asked why. Then he replied that he’ll be treating me to a Derm Clinic for Diamond Peeling. I had second thoughts on going (o yes, I had!), but then with his say, I finally agreed. Oh yea. And I had to undergo the process just earlier this afternoon. Here’s how I went through it:

1. First was the Facial Steaming, accompanied by chikas and that.

2. Next was the massage, with some cream on it.

3. Then here’s the painful part, wherein the blackheads, pimples, and other elements were… extracted from my face. I bled.

4. After some tears, the aesthetician was sorta bothered by my bushy eyebrows, so she took the liberty of “arranging” them for me.

5. After that, I had my face rubbed by another cream, and sponged too.

6. This one’s my favorite part: the Seaweed Cream. Here’s how I looked like:

 

God, I looked like a yuurei here! :P

 

7. After some drying time, me and my dude C had this photo op together (sorry I have to post this! We look brilliant anyway! :D)

Oh yes, that’s us in our yuurei looks. Scary, ne?

8. Finally, the cream was removed with warm water and sponge, then followed by cold water to lock the pores back.

9. And voila! I had my face cleaned… and pricked! XD

Like my friend John said, “Beauty is Pain”. But then again, I didn’t came for beauty. Just the pain. :P Just kidding, this has been a pleasant experience and bonding time for us anyway. :)

Next month, I think I’ll be going back again.

Special thanks to Ate _______ (I forgot her name!) and of course, to my BFF, C.

**My hair still smells like barbecue grill smoke**

Kiss and Make Up

This sounds like a crazy phrase, but it actuality, it could be “Kiss and Make out”. Haha, not funny. Anyway, earlier I met with my estranged for two days you-know-who in Trinoma, and yes, it was a KaMo. Haha. Oh well, that was the one last thing I could ever think we’ll be doing—to meet somewhere there and do the usual Time Zone and lunch date. Of course, it’s at Mc Donald’s since it’s my recent addiction.

Anyway, after eating, we spent 35 pesos for a sketch-like thingy on paper (one which is computerized of course) “game” (or let’s say it’s an “activity” whatever) at Time Zone, the Van Gogh. It makes your sketch and you can pick whether it will be like penciled, charcoaled, and so on. So there it went. We had that sketch thingy for only one copy (35 credits, still a lot even though I got he Student Pack where 150 pesos will be equivalent to 200 credits). We played the usual games found in Robinsons and SM Megamall, and also the different new ones like Jump Rope, and others. Later in the afternoon, it was the ling bus ride again and I slept. The usual, I say. But that usual is something most of the people won’t understand, nor know about.

Bwah, we’re good again. But as I’ve said, it’s lesser compared to before. Yes, confusing. Things would not be the same again.

 

Haha, inverted ung paper I mean baliktad. Wrong side printed. Oh well,

Ang UP Fair

Grabe. Ganto pala yung feeling nang sobrang pagod. Biruin mo kulangin ka sa tulog, tapos kulitin ka ng isang kaklase at pahabulin ka sa AS walk, mapagod ka pa sa kung anong activity sa kung anong lugar after, pumila ka ng mahigit dalawang oras para sa isang event, at siyempre yung umuwi ng madaling araw. Wala ka nang matinu-tinong maisip. Pero, nakakapag-blog parin nman ako.

Gulo ng araw ko, sobra. Ubos energy ko at ng mobile phone ko. Yung isa kong friend nagback-out na. Tagal ng pila. Walang kwenta ang organizer ng event. Di maayos ang entrance sa event. Tapos sa event naman madaming JJ’s, tas nagbabatuhan ng bote na may laman, condom na hinipan at mga feeling cute at pacute na di naman cute. Bahala nga sila. Tas muntik pa palang itigil ung event dahil me mga naninira na nung fence. Bale yung countdown at yung fireworks plus ung ilang bands nalang ang okay dun. Kaasar, na-miss ko yung first four bands dahil sa haba ng pilang hindi organized.

Pagod na pagod na ako. Itutulog ko nalang siguro ang weekends ko. Tapos sa Monday, study visit aka field trip to the House of Representatives. Yay. Yun na nga lang mag-eenergize sakin. :) Next week, exam and reports week na. Wahu. Wala pa kaming nasisimulan (108, 121, 141 at 151).

Ay, belated Happy Friday the 13th ngapala sa lahat, and of course Happy V-day rin. :)

UP Fair 2009

Back with Windows Live Writer. I can’t believe I would actually have the chance to buy fair tickets at a very low cost. My classmate earlier had told me that her classmate in English 1 is selling two tickets with discounts. Ooh. Around 30 pesos discount? That’s not too bad. Those tickets are for Loverage 3 on February “Friday the 13th”.

LOVERAGE3: Break the Curse, the third installment of the iconic LOVERAGE concert, is a pre-Valentine and Valentine celebration designed to bring together Iskolars ng Bayan and guests in a call to undo and defy superstitious bad luck associated with Friday the 13th through a night of love and love for music with the youth. It also aims to celebrate the varied and distinct musicianship shared and unleashed by our Filipino bands and artists in the realm of original Filipino music. As the night wears on, the organizers envision a Valentines Day welcome countdown, prompting a special fireworks display at exactly 12:00 midnight to delight the spectators. Tickets will be priced at PhP90 each. This curse-breaking event will be held on Friday the 13th of February 2009, at the UP Sunken Garden from 6:00PM onwards. (Gates open at 5:00PM)
brought to you by:
PAN XENIA FRATERNITY | ADELFE ENU CREA SORORITY | UP CURSOR | UP CIRCUIT
- EXCLUSIVE BAMBOO PERFORMANCE
- COUNTDOWN TO VALENTINES
- FIREWORKS AT MIDNIGHT
for more information:
visit: http://loverage3.multiply.com

There you go. I’ve been longing to go to this event since 2007—my Freshman year at UP Diliman—but my parents won’t allow me to stay until midnight at the campus. But this time, I have companions to take me back to our house :D Happy. I hope I could really come and enjoy it this year. :)

In the Nick of TIME

6 am, my biological clock worked. I settled in front of my Tablemate (TM) and opened the laptop. Light seeped into my eyes. I started working with the paper I had been doing since yesterday—it only has one short paragraph as an introduction. Before starting, I reviewed the MTPDP, closed all other YM windows, read some unread messages while I’m asleep, and finally checked my torrents. Suddenly, everything just occurred to me as if I was possessed by a writing ghost. My fingers worked quickly across the keyboard, and in thirty minutes, I finished 2 pages. Just the right amount of pages for a reaction paper.

I roamed around the house for a couple of minutes. The people have just woke up. I ran outside to see Shabutaro. He was as usual murderously playing with Butchik. I came to them and of course Shabu-chan succumbed to my presence. What a relief. He stopped gnashing Butchik. Breakfast was served, I ate quite a lot. God, I was happy I am still alive to this day.

When I returned to the PC only to be bothered by something else, I recalled what I have dreamed of. Sure, I’ve got lots of anime dreams lately—it’s a way of escape too. I’d let myself imagine a lot: it helps me think of future fanfiction plots. I really found something very interesting in my dreams; they seem to envelop my reality. It’s as if it’s right straight into my dream. The conversations were as real as it could get. The lingering sensations just had me wondering in the aftermath. I would even spend some time pondering of what had happened. This is normal. And it is abnormal.

I still find it hard to close paragraphs and essays. I usually left them hanging. Elementary school taught us to write the conclusion in a manner where you tell the moral of the story, or something that you learned. High school just made it more complex, but the result is still the same. College did make me think of ways to end it beautifully. As of now, what I could only write in ending of essays is the final question in the posted guidelines. Strictly speaking, I follow rules. Creativity has long gone. Too much corruption of the mind…it led me to nothing but illusions.

Press Statement

Ikinalulungkot ko man para sa mga umaasa, sinabi ko na ang katotohanan nung isang araw… Kaya, Sir Manny H, magkakaroon din ng tamang tao para humalili sa pwesto ko sa uh… JinSan.

Yan ang sagot ko sa press statement nya nung Feb 2, 2009:

"Nakekeesa aku sa pagloloksa ng boong longsod ng JinSan. Nawalan kame ng esang ena na magtagoyod sana ng dibilupment at pes en urder sa JinSan. Subrang kalongkot naman, kase mahal na mahal namen ang mga Heranyawungkol. Ets su dibesteyting..."

Naalala ko tuloy bigla si Sir Manny sa role ni Mark Bautista sa “Status: Single” na pelikulang pinanood ko kahapon. Hehe. Sina “Swet” at “Heart”. Wahaha. Kulet.

Voter’s Registration

Kanina, maaga kaming lumarga ni Hani papuntang City Hall—actually, nagkita kami jan sa Jobi simbahan. Tapos, bumulaga samin yung parang assembly ng lahat ng pulis, city hall officers and employees, at kung sinu-sino pang workers of the government. Inakyat namin yung footbridge above the head na nakapalibot sa me LICS. Anyway, saktong pagbalik namin sa me city hall natapos na yung assembly, only to know na iba yung pila para sa registration. Aba, ang haba na.

Next, me requirements para sa registration. Wala ako nun, so tawag sa bahay ang drama ko. Swerte ni Hani walang pila sa District 1. Okay, so akyat kami hintay ke mama. Nang dumating, number 102 na binigay sakin nung isang kuya. Haha.

Oooh, nakita namin si Meicy dun at boy na boy na talaga siya. Oh well, konting chika tapos ayun natapos si Hani tapos uwi kain nood balik ulit, around 2 na yun. Onti na pila at after 1 hour natapos rin. Balik bahay, etc.

Haha, di siya nakatingin dito wahaha wala kasing flash. Ay breaking news muna, ginagamit ko na ulit yung Smart ko, and pahinga muna yung Globe 0906… ko. :)

Tsaka me bagong nick tong tao sa kaliwa, siya na si “Fifi *insert gay surname here*”, hehe nakikiuso. =)) nagshishift yan sa Hani and Fifi mode. Basta. Si Alien pa. Hehe.

New Month, New Hair

Okay, so earlier we went to church and after that I had my “curled” (quote and unquote that) hair cut and repaired (what? :D).

So here’s the result (although I didn’t like to post it here, but just as a proof)

Before and after:

 

Okay. So left’s before and right’s after. Haha. I kinda miss my long messy hair. :)

I have nothing else to say but since today’s the first of February (my favorite month for the second sem) I just wanna tell ya’ll that I’m so excited for Friday the 13th. YAAAY!! Twice this year and this early! Wahoo!

Hope I can attend UP Fair. Dang, it’s my third year but still I failed to attend concerts and the like that happens in the university. Oooh… I really, really wanna attend now (this year).

*crosses fingers*

*snickers*

*grins*