283 Kisses

Because of a statement I made yesterday which includes a promise to someone, I am in debt of 283 kisses till Friday.

Confusing, eh? Only one person knows about this. Of course, it should be him. He started this whole thing. I reacted around a couple of times, and so here I am with that “debt”.

Anyway, I have to pay that one by one or else it will accumulate for the rest of my life. Haha, it appears to me as another of our childish “games” or maybe a bit of nonsense that we keep on playing. Something that has got to do with “denial” and “concealment”, and of course, of “LOVE” and “attraction”. Could also be involved with, believe it or not, seduction.

Wasn’t I tricked, you may ask. Certainly no. I just said some things that I kinda mean to say but then it appears to be not. Oh well, whatever the reason really was, this should be better done by Friday or else I’ll show the public some sort of affection display. Which is, by my understanding, not quite good.

So then, gotta go for now.

Oh yeah, my “little blue book” was finished earlier. No more blank pages! Yay me! Today marks the start for the next diary. :D Good thing I bought in advance.

And this day is the anniversary (2nd) of my lost 6610i Nokia mobile—and the anniversary also of the other 6610i we bought to replace that. :)

CUT

I was wondering why I have to announce this thing to my blog. Oh yes. I did it again—more like, “Oops! I did it AGAIN”, not making use of the Oops word since I intended to do so.

Anyway, sleep was 2 hours worth in the CAL Lib. It drowned the remaining time, thus making me spend meager 50 minutes (wow it’s almost an hour) scribbling on my personal pages. All my thoughts about someone and somebody came to being as I wrote every single detail. There is no doubt that anyone hasn’t read that darned blue notebook I’ve kept for almost 2 years. And I do hope that no one ever reads it. Because whatever it contains has my puny secrets and the biggest ones as well. It’s like my “little black book”.

Keeping something like that could be fun and dangerous as well. My ever-snooping and intervening mom would want to have that for herself, and trust me, all this time, she never had. I am best in keeping things to myself, and I tell you, only a few of my secrets are known to my family. Even the closest person to me (my boyfriend, maybe or my BFF(s) doesn’t even know some of them (I would personally believe that my boyfriend knows a heck of 85% of everything in that secret notebook).

The other secrets were surely kept, and long gone—resolved. That involves some jeopardy in my classes, the “F’s”, the “cuts”, and a little bit of perversion (did I just say that?). This little notebook’s notes really had the things I concealed and yet to be revealed for the years 2007 till start of 2009. I’ll call it “my precious” (quoting from LotR? Nah,).

Again, no one reads this blog from my family (or I just don’t know). And because of that, some people who turn to this (those who accidentally found it in Google) know something that they don’t know. I declare a lot of things about me here, not to mention some crushes’ exact names (because they might know). Anyhow, since no one seems to bother this, I’ll explicitly write their full names in order of addiction someday.

This is another of my “explosive” yet “unimportant to anyone” posts.

Don’t tell my parents. *laughs*

Multiply— the best blog, in terms of features

I have been using FS blog since May of 2005. And as of now, I have had a lot of posts which I do not certainly want to leave. Multiply made me import posts from other blogs of mine. Too bad that it cannot import from here.

So I decided that finally, I’ll have three official blogs. The LJ (Live Journal) one, this FS blog, and lastly the Windows Live Spaces. Multiply posts will remain as it is (as well as the merged ones) and it will only serve as storage. The three I’ve mentioned will be the updated ones.

The thing about Multiply is its interface. It’s so user- friendly and because of that, there would be less problems in uploads and the like. It’s so easy to use and to view. Plus, there seems to be a few traffic. There’s also the spell checker, and it makes my life easy again.

I will not say anything anymore since I’m writing this at a FS blog. Oh well, this then ends my post for tonight.

By the way, thanks to Windows Live Writer for having me use its software in order to write efficiently for my FS blog. It’s not that easy to setup (although I had problems when it comes to using Multiply here—meaning that’s its only fault by far besides unable to import FS posts). Thanks again for the wonderful app, Windows!

Anime Song of the Month (January)

slow- Yamato Nadeshiko Shichihenge OP song- sung by Kiyoharu

Original / Romaji Lyrics
English Translation

Ah kimi wo omou yoru wa, amaku kaoru kaze no naka ni
nagusameru you na yasashisa ga boku wo toorisugiru yo

Ah, on the nights that I think of you, in a sweetly smelling breeze,
A comforting kindness will pass through me

kimi ga iru to kikoeteta
uta ni natta waraikoe
kazaru kotoba nande nanimo nai
jikan wa tomatte SUROU de nagareteru

I could hear when you were there,
Laughter that turned into a song,
There were no elaborate words,
Time stops, and is flowing slowly

ima no boku wa kodoku to iu jiyuu sakara hagurete shimatta ato

Now I have opposed and strayed from the freedom called loneliness

itai hodo shitteru yo
kaiwa ga togirete shimattara, kanashii tte

I know just how painful it is
If a conversation is interrupted, it's sad...

ima no bokura wa, kuukyo to iu jinsei kara degakete shimatta ato

Now we've departed from the life called emptiness

Ah kimi wo omou yoru wa, amaku kaoru kaze no naka ni
fureatta koro no omokage ga boku wo sukou you ni
Ah kimi ga utau no nara haruka todoke kaze wo matotte
nagusameru you na yasashisa ga boku wo toorisugiru yo

Ah, on the nights that I think of you, in a sweetly smelling breeze,
Traces of you from the time we touched save me
Ah, if you sing, it will be carried to me, wrapped in the distant wind
A comforting kindness will pass through me

hanareta tte heiki da ne

When we were apart it was okay, wasn't it?

omoide wa iroasenai

Our feelings won't fade

Ah, kimi wo omou yoru wa, amaku kaoru kaze no naka de
kieru riyuu mo nai omokage ga boku wo sukou you ni
Ah ashita ki ga tsuitara, imi wo ushinau kotoba wa atta?
tsuketashita you na ayamachi ga boku ni katarikakeru yo
Ah ano hi onaji yume ga ima wa tooi kaze no naka ni
dakedo kimi no mirai, shiawase ga zutto tsuzuku you ni
Ah kimi yo utaeru nara, wazuka todoite kage wo nutte
nagusameru you na yasashisa ga kokoro, toorisugiru yo

Itoshisa wo boku ni kizamitsukeru yo

Ah, on the nights that I think of you, in a sweetly smelling breeze,
There isn't a disappearing reason, traces of you save me,
Ah, if I come to myself tomorrow, have the words lost meaning?
If the mistakes that added up spoke to me,
Ah, our shared dreams from those days are now in the distant wind,
But your future and happiness will go on forever,
Ah, if you can sing to me, I'll go towards your image that reaches me just a little,
A comforting kindness will pass through my heart.

Translated and transliterated by Anyaaa

http://www.darknight-alchemist.deviantart.com

2009

Yeah, it has come. The year that will mark my 20th year in life. My most impoprtant year in school. The year that I thought would start my misfortunes because of the abundant year 2008. Well, what would happen? No one knows.

A lot had happened when the year started. :)

I'm not telling what had happened.

Guuzen (originally posted at Multiply)

It definitely was coincidence at all. Or if it is, then it should be great.
When I plan and hope to see him, it ends up a failure. I always see to it to look for his father, because I know well where and what time he arrives. Earnestly, I hope that he tags along, but seriously I know that he's not into going to church as I do.
There were exactly three noticeable times I saw him looking my way. The first one was during a random Sunday morning, maybe because I stare at him too much. The second one was on a Sunday afternoon Vesper service. I certainly did not recognize him coming our way because I was busy talking. He appeared right before me, sitting just a few inches beside me. We shook hands that day as for the congregational greeting rites. Nothing special, I guess for him. But to me, it was bliss.
The third and last one was just 2 Sundays ago. I didn't know again that he was coming. It's been an awful 5 months that I haven't seen him. Very well then, he was there. And on cue, I looked his way and unbelievably, his gaze was just right on. My way. Definitely. I felt uneasy because I don't feel like I look like someone worth his time gazing. So I looked away, pretended it was nothing.
Occasional glances followed, of course by me. Then the service ended, making me wanna go to the wash room shortly. When I left, he was with his family on the kneeling area. When I returned, my mom told me that I should've stayed. She said that he was certainly looking for me in a way, because he stood still near the pew we were sitting just when they are about to leave. I didn't believe her. I saddened, since I missed the chance to further see him.
Upon my exit to the church. he was standing right in front of me. He was wearing a red, white- striped shirt in that sunny Sunday. I glanced his way and turned right, going to the newsstand. He did look happy while talking to his siblings. I tried to peek again. Then I left. In our car, I tried to see his blurred image through the window one more time. I guess that will be another last time.
Will he be coming this Sunday, tomorrow?

I hope so. :)

2009 Wishlist

Howdy! 2008 has been a very lucky, happy, blessed, whatever you call it year for me. In fact, I was thinking that 2009 would be horrible because of this.

So in any case, I am stating this or rather NEXT year's wishlist. It or it could not be fulfilled like what happened in 2008. Of course I wish things would go as well as 2008.



1. Upgrade Mr-PC-Reborn. Yeah, this has been in the 2008 wishlist, but then... forget it. haha. I think it's impossible.

1. External Hard Drive- to avoid the stack of DVDs in my room. They're outgrowing me-- my height, that is.


2. Blu-Ray Drive- Hmn, this is expensive. Nah, it shall be on my list.

3. Another mobile phone- Am I quite demanding? Haha, I still need one for my SMART sim. ^_^

4. ... This will be updated later on.



Okay, let's go back to my wishlist last year to identify what happened really... ciao!

AKEMASHITE OMEDETOU GOZAIMASU MINNA!!