Browhaus Experience Review

Yesterday, before attending a wedding, I went to Browhaus Serendra to get my eyebrows cleaned and shaped. I heard they do sorts of unique things with the eyebrow design and so on, but it was obviously overrated. There was no blueprint of eyebrows and all those stuff as said in this blog http://www.100percentkelly.com/2009/07/10/my-browhaus-experience/. So there, I entered, filled up the form and then later sat on the chair and was threaded. They said Browhaus won't hurt you as much, but it was not true. I still cried in this experience, almost the same pain I felt in LayBare's service. There's also plucking and shaving involved so those other process added to the hurt. I'm not an aesthetic critic so I couldn't tell whether the brows I now have are in fact, better. Probably I would post a picture of my brows as a follow-up. 580 Php is quite a high price too (LayBare price is 100), but Browhaus threading seats are good compared to LayBare's beds (you sit in there while being threaded, no back support). I would probably go back next month for maintenance.

Publishing Here Again

I once told myself I won't be opening my Friendster account not unless I want to find a photo or a lost contact, but here I am again for my blog. The layout of this blog is my favorite, and it's so rare that you cannot buy it anymore in the net (I've tried). I also found a download of the template Oceanwide but it didn't work on my Blogger or WordPress blog so okay, I simply quit trying.

I was inspired to write again about March. Last year, I was writing on the same month about my upcoming "labor" with my son Jethro. After a year, I could probably write about how extremely adorable he has been from the annoying kicker inside my body. Anyway, me and my husband have been really happy to play with him although most of the time we get kicked or plunged into and get sorts of bruises, if not bleeding body parts while taking care of him. We do tolerate some of those baby behaviors he's been showing since we all say they're cute and innocent (babies). Although sometimes, it's just too hurtful we tend to say "No-no" and shake our heads together with him. It's amazing how he understands (but still forcefully does what he wants sometimes) that concept. 9-month olds are really interesting.

Since it's almost our vacation, we've been hanging out with Jethro more often in the daytime. He, unfortunately is so attached with his Lola Ana (my mom) and oftentimes calls her "Mama" (which is so sweet yet annoying to both me and my mom). Well, sometimes Jethro calls me "Mama", most likely when I have a mobile phone or laptop beside me. He is really intrigued with electronic gadgets that the only way he stops whining when his Lola is gone is through a gadget.

We'll be dealing with him in the next few more weeks so I just hope my stuff will be fine by April.

I just wish he learns how to properly call me and my mom.

I’m Sorry.

Yesterday, I was online at 5 PM already for my 7 PM class at RareJob, my part-time job for a year now. I was glad that all my slots were occupied from 7-11 PM. My students have reserved a lesson since the night before and also early that morning. After some time, I had my husband fix the antivirus program of my netbook, this pink Sony VAIO my mom bought me a few months ago. The PC needs restarting, so I told him to quickly do it so that I will be online for the 7 PM class right away. I thought he’d open the Skype (this program is the one I’m using for work) after he has restarted my netbook. But he didn’t do that, so I was busy with our son for about an hour playing with him. I didn’t notice the time passed by and I wasn’t online. 6:30 PM came and my mom called us for dinner. I usually eat at a duration of 20 minutes. So 6:50 came. I went to my PC and checked my schedule on the company’s website. After that, I came looking for Skype—then I realized I wasn’t online nor the program was opened. I became so nervous.

When Skype had finished loading, it was 6:52. RareJob staff from Tokyo and Manila have been trying to contact me a few minutes ago. I decided to check my schedule and found out I had a 204 cancellation. My class for 7PM was already transferred to another tutor. I messaged the Scheduling Team and RareJob Japan at 6:53, and they both told me it’s too late to be reopened and it was transferred already. I should be online 10 minutes before. I was devastated and I started to cry. I blamed my husband right away for not clicking Skype as soon as my PC started. I changed the options then to “Start Skype when Windows starts” option (I don’t know the exact words), and then I continued crying over it. My disappointment continued especially when I realized I was penalized for 208 for the rest of the week (plus one day because they did not realize the “one week starting from today”, I don’t know how mad they were at me to do that). I was furious I drove him out of the room the whole night. So the 6 classes continued from 7:30-11. I still could not get over the large-scale cancellation.

When I talked about this thing I had to a student who was also married, he told me to forgive my husband and let it go; that this is just a part of married life I could not escape. I knew he made sense, but when I remember my other student’s comment about this—that it was really infuriating—I had second thoughts again. After my 11 PM class, I went out of the room and I saw my husband walking along the dining hall. He said sorry again for what happened. Somehow, I know I could forgive him about that manner, even though obviously I haven’t gotten over it. I simply replied okay and told him about the penalty of 1 week cancellation. His face looks devastated as well as mine, but I turned away and walked out to the kitchen and passed by him without a word.

I could just have asked him to return to our bed and spend the night there as usual when we’re okay, but I had not told him that. I continued acting childishly and so he had to sleep in the broken couch at the living room. Actually, I cannot sleep also because I was thinking of how sore our bodies were from the work-out that morning and he might be having lots of troubles sleeping there too. But my so-called anger that night didn’t make me feel sorry after all. The next day, I was still able to talk to him (a bit) and then I could see that he’s still repenting on it. As always, I would not talk about it and I would be mad for other unrelated things. Yes, that was what happened. He left home for school without me saying a word. Maybe when he comes back later in the evening, I’d tell him exactly what made me so furious. I just wanted to blame someone for a mistake I had done unintentionally.

 

I’m sorry, Hani. I know you won’t be able to read this (the main reason I wrote it here).

Torture

 

I always wonder why I still have to hurt myself like this. It's not that I don't want to be happy but I do believe there is no happy ending, and that he is not my happy ending. Before he has hurt me a couple of times "unintentionally" as he claims, but still I doubt it after he had seemingly honestly told me the truth about his exploits I had caught him doing not so long ago. That, I cannot forgive.

He always tells me I'm the most important, like he cannot live without me and he really cares for me but what does he do? He just makes me cry over "trivial" matters, but those small things count more to me than of other things he does for me. I don't think he's particularly being transparent with me, and that he's always doing this to hurt me. He was wired like that.

Although when I read his sweet nothings and remember his loving gestures, I fail to remember how hurt I was and how I cried endlessly for nights while I am having our son. Those nights I felt so alone that he wasn't there to support me were the longest and saddest I ever had. The days where I went to the OB alone made me hate myself for carrying his child and bearing all the stress coming from it. Good thing I was able to handle it, if not for the love I had for our little boy--that he seriously didn't have at first when I felt it already.

I cursed him and hurt him, but still I feel like I'm gonna cry every time I do that. Once, he has seen me breakdown and do all the hurtful physical things to him, but he didn't learn from that. He knows that sooner or later I will cool down and we'll settle things right. But I never forget what he's done. I always go back to it whenever I feel bad about something he did, or whenever I think he's doing something wrong. Trust will never be present (because from the very start of our boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, I have not trusted him), therefore true, unadulterated love won't be here as well.

I don't know how long will this be, or how far can I go from what I'm doing to him…. But for sure, he wouldn't be around next time to understand me, or to hug me when I'm throwing tantrums, or to give me a tissue when I'm bursting in tears. He would not kiss me anymore, hold my hand when I'm just beside him, or hug me tightly with no particular reason. I will surely look for that and for the great sex we had.

The thing is, I cannot say I love you when I am not that sure; nor I cannot tell you how I feel because you will have high hopes of me.

Unrest

This title will be similar to what some spirits are to be described if they still dwell in this world, or just like a rally of people in Mendiola when they want to voice out their concerns in public. Yes, my feelings are still in a state of unrest. I don't know if this is the proper way of writing this noun here together with another noun-- feelings.

Oh well, whatever grammatical problem I'm having right now as a concern is due to my late-night job as a tutor.

Anyway, going back to my earlier point, I still have these ill feelings about my said loving hubby who really is loving and thoughtful, I have no questions about that. But what really ticks me off is how he handles the sharing of some details of his life outside my boundaries to me. It's just where the ill feeling starts. I just think that he's not telling me enough details, but it is I who seemingly isn't interested.

In truth, I really want him to open up and tell everything to me straightforwardly, just like when we're just starting college with that logbook of ours. Now it's as if he's afraid to talk because I might react violently and tactlessly, or show my feelings of doubt right away. Add this as a plus to his silence: I had told him flatly that I simply don't believe his words anyway, so why would he waste time talking and explaining things to me.

Now do I have the right to complain now? I guess the answer is absolutely not. I believe that he really wanted me to trust him as much as I want to, but my heart and mind is either paranoid due to his family history. I firmly believed that if someone in the family has cheated, most likely the next generation are likewise (ie our neighbors etc). He couldn't blame me for this because yeah, my mind is a closed yet open one: open with new and interesting possibilities and closed due to the history of negative things. Oh well, he chose to marry the wrong person and I could only mourn for him.

I honestly believe he's sort of a very good catch, but it's just that he had the wrong person to supposedly fall in love with: and that is, me.

Nokia N900

Humans are said to be known for not having enough for material things—yeah, I’m one of them so I should agree. For about 2 months, I’ve been eagerly eyeing this one of the latest from Nokia’s Nseries, and I’ve spent quite sometime looking for obviously a cheaper deal (I have heard it still is around 30 thou in the Nokia Philippines store). I was almost scammed on eBay during that process, and I rightfully won the claim and got a full refund (thank you, PayPal). The seller still told me he or she shipped the item and I could either pay for it (duh, after that long process and worrisome nights?) or return it to him or her. If that’s true, then I might be getting another N900 next month. Thinking of customs charges and other fees, I don’t think I’m getting that 450 USD worth mobile. I got the refund, period.

Anyway, I got what I wanted through a local store online. I just had some problems dealing with them through the phone, but everything went smoothly as they’ve stated. Got it in a so-so price, and my budget was just enough. The package I chose included an 8 GB micro SD and shipping insurance. I was really excited to open the box since Sunday night and I kept dreaming of using it. The reviews were astounding, and as compared to Apple Iphone 3GS, it is said that this one’s better (I was also aiming for that 3GS thing, but I decided not to since I’m not a Mac person). Air21 delivered it at around 9 am something, and here are some of the initial unboxing photos (taken by my former favorite smartphone, Samsung Touchwhiz F480):

              Here’s the opened box and all its contents (not in particular order): N900 phone, charger (with micro USB converter), CA-101 USB data cable, headset (with extra earplugs), manual (in color and one of the thinnest Nokia manuals I’ve ever had), BL-5J battery, video-out cable, cleaning cloth and the 8 GB micro SD (meaning they’ve already opened the box before I received it! haha).    

 

So I got the phone opened and inserted the Smart SIM I’ve had for ages, removed this black plastic cover and saw its shiny shiny touch surface":

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then I turned it on for the first time in my hand and yeah, it was like this:

This is the back part. I liked it since it’s Blue in color (my favorite).

And so, for the next few hours, I can’t stop exploring it. :)

Took this photo hours and hours after. This is the cover of the box, and it’s somewhat embossed. Pretty cool.

 

 

 

 

I cannot add a detailed review here because you can see more specific and technical reviews in the net. What I achieved so far is using the stylus and avoiding my fingers to touch and touch (I was trained with my Samsung smartphone to only use my fingers since it has no stylus), connecting it with WLAN through ad hoc connection with my Acer laptop, using it with PC Suite 7, downloading apps and widgets for it through WLAN again, connecting my social networks to it, adding VoIP and IM accounts, setting up my 3 mails, watch a Youtube video through its Maemo browser, playing a full touch screen tetris game (haha), taking photos and videos, abusing the micro SD by loading it up with music and videos, using Firefox as browser there, listening to radio, synchronizing contacts with my other Nokia phone, receiving and sending files through Bluetooth, getting used with the QWERTY keypad, personalizing the phone and counting.

After long hours of spending time with it and draining its battery, I think now I’m already satisfied. Now I’m not really into the phone. Maybe one of these days I won’t be using it for a day or two. The phone hype is over. Till next year, I guess.

One of Those Days

It's here again. There's something about his hair, maybe about his fair complexion, in his smile and his physical features. I can't seem to get off my eyes on him. There's this gravitational pull making me want to glomp him and pull him closer to me. Yes, I could tell it is one of those days when I'm crazy over him. In fact, I could think mostly of him for many days continuously. Sometimes, it is his scent that draws me nearer, but today I can't actually tell. It's as if there's some unidentifiable source making me feel this way. I would love to just stare at him all day and do nothing, but I bet it would be as awkward as ever. I don't usually show my feelings of fondness and attraction towards him. Most of the time, he would just catch me staring deadpan at him with a quite obvious expression of awe and admiration. Honestly, I don’t know how to express myself when I find him cute, hot, or however attractive at any given time. It's just I had some telltale signs. He could figure it out. In fact, that could just be a sign that we're sort of contradictory entities.

I wanted to be as expressive as he seemingly is, but that would not be "me". It's unconventional, bizarre, and awkward to see me acting fangirlishly to the man I love in front of his face. Never could you see me in that state. I wish though that this feeling of wanting him beside me for hours and doing nothing would pass and die down eventually. I'm looking forward to the next day I see him. The truth is, every time I see him, the attraction gets to a higher level. It's insanely annoying for me since I cannot manage to see him everyday. I'm missing him more and more that maybe the next time we see each other, I'll tie him on our bedpost. Oh right. It's as if I'm missing some important point here. We were married almost a week ago. That's right. He's mine until death. Maybe now I could learn to use forever. We're stuck with each other legally as of this moment. I somehow find it like music to my ears; although the consequences and responsibilities are a little off my capacity right now. Anyway maybe I should enjoy the few months of us being the "happy couple" and drown in my fantasies of him while he's away. I don't assure though that I would find peace during these days that I'm admitting defeat over his charisma.