Despair

I looked up at a certain collection of stuff said, and found out that yesterday’s things have been deleted. I didn’t mind everything that went on yesterday and last night, but now and of course this morning, it all sunk in. My chest suddenly felt the upheaval I already expected to come. I assured myself calmly of all positive things that there is… but now, none of them seemed helpful. My head is filled swirling thoughts—possibly created by guilt and regret. If it is not because of certain things I saw myself, I wouldn’t feel this way. Maybe it’s better that yesterday’s things said were gone… so as we won’t recall it ever happened. However, the feeling and the pain remained with us—and something was lost in the process. I know it can never return, I’ve let go of something I could not have again. Everything will drop down to a negative degree, and it will take more years to get back to the positive than to forget what happened. I am certainly unhappy about it. I know I can’t live without the loss anymore. This reeks. My entire system got caught in it. I guess we could never be the same again, never again… Goodbye to you…

Not long after this, all the sweetness will be gone and all that's left is a bitter aftertaste...